I feel so out of place in my own life. Why is she complaining every time we meet about her husband, she claims to be sad and telling me she is even thinking about divorce, but then the next day I see her telling me all the things he did for her and yes oh I see and feel everything he does for him. He is a really good man and husband, she is so lucky to have him and vise versa, but why complain so much and bother my head every day, im glad she is happy but she is tbh also so ungrateful, i could never imagine being like that to someone, sure he is not perfect either but damn. Like two weeks ago he called me and told me for her birthday he wanted to suprise her and that I maybe wanted to help him a little out, and of course I said yes. I love to see her happy and she does deserve that suprise party for her 23rd. He also is planning not only a party with her friends and family, but also a weekend away with her at a special place they met. The moon sea. How cute is that. They will have so much fun there, and they both deserve it ofc, why wouldnt they. Maybe I am a bad friend for this but I just dont get it, why be so dramatic and believe me she is, she said herself that she starts almost every fight they have. Why cant she just shut the fuck up about her marriage, I want be there for her if she actually has problems but this is getting too much, Im rolling my eyes every time she say the fought and she hates him, because the next day they will have the sweetest date and do all the funniest things together and make the most core memories, and I will still be me, existing and not enjoying my life, not getting where I am fitting in, not understanding where I belong. I dont even want a boyfriend or husband for that matter, maybe if I had an household where I was loved and wanted which she on the other hand had btw, maybe then I wouldnt feeel so empty. Whatever I am lacking. I dont even know what it exactly is.